I’m trying to learn about who I am all over again at 35. Who am I? My counselor gave me this assignment and I started it, finished it. Only to misplace it and never to be found again. I felt like I misplaced myself. I can’t even remember one thing I wrote about myself on those three sheets of paper. I wouldn’t even be able to tell you who I am, unless I read to you what was on that paper. Pretty sad if you’re really paying attention to this. I obviously wasn’t paying too much attention to me if I can’t even remember what I wrote about myself. So the counselor gave me a new fresh off the printer copy. You would think that because I had already filled it out, that it’d be a piece of cake. I should be able to just fill in the blanks as fast as I’m typing this paragraph. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I have to start with new answers, fresh answers of who I think I am. I feel if I never find the other sheets and can’t compare them I’ll never know who I truly am. Since I’m obviously going to answer them differently. I feel like I’ll be cheating myself. But I justified it by telling myself since I can’t remember one thing I wrote, then that must mean it wasn’t who I am. It’s who I was.
We’re changing every day. I realize. So now I’ve come to another interpretation of this assignment. It’s not about who I think I am in this moment. But who I am in my deep inner soul. Who do I want to be, how will I get there and who is my support system to help me achieve this.
At least that’s how I’m answering these questions now.
I arrived at work Friday morning, heard a song on the radio. It had a pretty catchy tune and lyrics. Immediately whipped out my S3 and opened up Shazam. Since I’m also pretty broke, I don’t have real cell phone coverage. I pretty much rely on connecting to Wi-Fi wherever I’m at. Rambling on, I attempted to tag the song that was on. Well since I wasn’t “connected” it said my tag wasn’t submitted. I threw my phone back in my purse and was on my way to conquer the rest of my workday. I had completely forgotten about the song that had caught my attention.
Saturday morning, laying awake in bed, not quite ready to get up and attack the day. I locate my S3 and immediately remembered that I had tagged a song. I open up Shazam and there’s my untagged tagged song. Yea, that sounds right. So I tap on the tag with no name only to have it come up Lana Del Rey. Sigh. And here I thought my Saturday was off to a great start.
Too bad I haven’t figured out how to delete submitted tags, because I would’ve done just so as soon as I saw who it was
What can I say? I’m a huge fan of milkshakes. I could have one for each meal of the day. But let’s get real. I’m not ready to go down that path. So today it’s been raining like crazy. And I got a call back for a job! I feel like a little celebration! What’s better than a nice milkshake.
I used my magicbullet to blend all the goodness together.
Chocolate Chip Cookie Milkshakes
Yields: 2 Servings
Prep Time: 5 Minutes
2 Cups Vanilla Ice Cream
3 Chocolate Chip Cookies, Broken into quartered pieces
1/2 Cup Almond Milk
Blend all of the ingredients together. Serve in a tall glass. Suggested toppings for your shakes would be some whipped cream, chocolate chips, cherries and minced pecans.
Enjoyed another day making deliveries downtown. The weather was beautiful. I don’t have pictures for proof, but I’m sure I wasn’t the only one talking about it. For those who were inside wanted to be outside, those who were outside looked happy and seemed to be enjoying whatever it was they were doing.
Stayed up late again last night. It was Friday after all. Couldn’t decide what I wanted to watch with the boyfriend, so I just piddle paddled on the internet as always. Decided that we would check out Parks and Recreation, as we missed two new episodes Thursday. But kept getting distracted by nonsense. Wasting away with wondering what everyone else was doing by watching their posts on their social network of choice. I thought I had quit you Facebook. But I’ve let myself get sucked back in. I see friends living their lives with their loved ones, all the while I’m sitting at home wasting time. So let’s see how serious I am with being done on wasting my time. If it’s not that, it’s seeing your friends enjoying their life. And while they’re not intentionally hurting your feelings, your feelings get hurt because you’re not in on their life. Or because you’ve become that lame person who just stays home. Well I’ll just have to do it myself. And it starts with getting off this fucking laptop.