I’m trying to learn about who I am all over again at 35. Who am I? My counselor gave me this assignment and I started it, finished it. Only to misplace it and never to be found again. I felt like I misplaced myself. I can’t even remember one thing I wrote about myself on those three sheets of paper. I wouldn’t even be able to tell you who I am, unless I read to you what was on that paper. Pretty sad if you’re really paying attention to this. I obviously wasn’t paying too much attention to me if I can’t even remember what I wrote about myself. So the counselor gave me a new fresh off the printer copy. You would think that because I had already filled it out, that it’d be a piece of cake. I should be able to just fill in the blanks as fast as I’m typing this paragraph. But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I have to start with new answers, fresh answers of who I think I am. I feel if I never find the other sheets and can’t compare them I’ll never know who I truly am. Since I’m obviously going to answer them differently. I feel like I’ll be cheating myself. But I justified it by telling myself since I can’t remember one thing I wrote, then that must mean it wasn’t who I am. It’s who I was.
We’re changing every day. I realize. So now I’ve come to another interpretation of this assignment. It’s not about who I think I am in this moment. But who I am in my deep inner soul. Who do I want to be, how will I get there and who is my support system to help me achieve this.
At least that’s how I’m answering these questions now.
Too Much Coffee Girl 